“I am now simply Ulysses S. Grant, and I am trying to get used to it.” (after he left the Presidency)
I know we have all heard someone in our social or professional circle say something like…”he just started losing it after retirement” or “she just couldn’t find her way to enjoying her much deserved retirement.”
We live in a world filled with highly successful professionals, people who have been extremely energized and motivated by their work, have accomplished much and been recognized, have reached their goals and are leaving at the pinnacle of their career to enjoy retirement. And then there are those who have endured work, found a way to be content in the midst of lack of passion for their work, and just been grateful that they can put food on the table in retirement. Or we know friends who have never worked outside the home and wrapped themselves up in the rhythms of family life and feel at odds with the freedom of retirement.
No matter where we find ourselves at the point of retirement, it is probably safe to say that each of us, at some point in life, has had our identify tied to a profession, a job or a lifestyle. Much of who we have been in these decades of career climbing, college tuition paying, home and car buying years, has been deeply tied to what we have done and what we have accomplished. What has kept us driven and going for so long simply and often suddenly disappears as we move from the predictability of commitments and obligations to a freedom we haven’t really known since…well, maybe never.
Where do we go to find ourselves when inordinate amounts of how we define our identity have done that disappearing act? We can’t say we’re a coach, a physician, an electrician, a judge, a business owner – we can only say we “used to be” a coach, a physician, electrician, judge or business owner.
I’m not going to digress into the differences between men and women and how they handle retirement, but feel free to examine what you have experienced yourself or what your siblings or friends have discussed with you. There will be differences between men and women, between stay at home and working moms, present and frequently absent dads. That gets really personal, even to the point of being really contentious…so I’ll leave that to others to debate.
This particular blog is to discuss where we, both male and female, find our identity in retirement…and quite honestly where we should have found it throughout the various stages of life (and quite possibly you already have!). How do we cope with wins and losses, how do we manage disappointments and joys? When life fell apart 20 years ago and your identify was threatened by job loss or divorce, how did you find your identity again? Where did you look for it?
I’m sure by now every reader knows where I’m headed with this and could probably write your own ending to this blog. As a follower of Christ, we are told to find our identify in him and him alone. Who I am “in Christ” defines the rest of my life, if I am truly a disciple. He’s not an add-on, he’s the heart and soul of who I am. A disciples mimics his rabbi, develops his mind in accordance with his teachings and walks in his steps. His identify is inexorably tied to the values and actions of the one he follows. Whether he or she is a housekeeper or a surgeon, a librarian or a groundskeeper, a CEO or a janitor, disciples know who they are because their identify is defined by who they are in Christ, not by what they have accomplished in their career, through their family or in their social status.
God sets us free to know with certainty who we are every day. We don’t have to battle our way to it or struggle to find it. This identity itself in Christ doesn’t change – we may just find new ways to grow into it as we mature in our faith. It’s based on the truth of Scripture and the promises he gives us in his Word. Just open your Bible and it’s written on every page. It’s never changing, fully ours, and defined by a Father who passionately loves each one of us.
Retirement just gives us more time to understand who we are – more time to hear from the Father who loves us, the Son who died for us so we could have this freedom, and the Spirit who teaches us. Steward your hours well so retirement will be your time to find your true identity without work, without commitments, without tasks, without schedules and without outside influences that take us down the wrong path. Relish in who you are as a child of the King of the Universe.
To Ponder…
How does my schedule reflect my identity in Christ?
Don't Waste Your Retirement 